


Scent

by enomis57



Category: Half-Blood Prince - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Half-Blood Prince, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-30
Updated: 2006-08-30
Packaged: 2018-10-27 13:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10809621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enomis57/pseuds/enomis57
Summary: Prompt: Potion to ease the discomfort of Remus’ scars





	Scent

Scent.  For Remus Lupin, this was probably the most powerful of his senses.  Sometimes it was a blessing, and sometimes, like now, it was a nightmarish curse.  It was something he had very little control over.  He had battled with himself throughout life to be disciplined, to gain control over his thoughts and emotions.  Having no control over his body and consequently his actions once every month had made him determined to be in control of as many other aspects of his life that he possibly could.  It had not been easy, but he had finally reached a point, a point where he felt he was in control.  He had reached that place where it would take an extremely powerful impact to shatter the control that he had achieved over those facets of his life that he could control, or that he naively thought that he could control.

 Maybe it had been the way that it had happened.  Maybe it had been the unexpected impact that had left him vulnerable when it occurred.  He had been caught off his guard and the years of work had been shattered.  He could not remember now what had finally been his undoing.  Had it been the sparkling eyes?  Had it been the laugh that never failed to lift his spirits?  Had it been the smile that lit her eyes every time she sent it his way?  Had it been the stubborn will to get close to him despite all that she knew about him?  Or had it been those gentle hands that he had finally relented to and allowed to sooth his aching body when he could not longer fight her off? He glanced into the cup of Wolfsbane that he held in a slightly shaking hand.  It was meant to be the potion that helped to ease the discomfort of his crumbling body.  It was meant to help him, not tear him apart.  He could not take the potion anymore without the scent of it overwhelming him with images, memories, and most painfully – emotions for her. 

His hand clenched involuntarily around the rusty mug as he tried in vain to fight off the hurt and emptiness he knew was soon to follow the scent.  A hurt and emptiness he had worked to avoid all his life.  A hurt and emptiness that was now out of his control once more.  A hurt and emptiness that was yet one more result of this never ending war.  This war that had already taken a good friend, the childhood of many, his heart’s desire, and he was afraid that it was also going to take his last shred of dignity, maybe not now but he did not know how much longer he could resist.

He heard the murmuring and movement of the pack a small distance away.  Unlike him, they were looking forward to the full moon.  Looking forward to the unleashed horror and the resulting carnage.  He fought it, refusing to become one of them.  He paid the cost, he paid dearly, but he refused to give them that as well.

He shakily brought the cup to his lips, drinking down the potion and being overwhelmed with the scent.  There were ointments and there were potions that could ease the pain and discomfort he faced each month.  He knew, though, that it took more than a potion to ease the discomfort of his scars.  Only she could east the hidden scars and the hidden pain.  Only she could ease his heart and his mind.  Now she was gone, out of his life forever.  Somewhere, deep down, he had known that it had all been too good to be true.  He had allowed himself to believe in the fairytale, in the magic.  He had allowed himself to hope, to believe that he could have the happily ever after amongst the darkness of their world.

He had been a fool.  A fool to believe that he could have her.  A fool to believe that she would ease his scars for the rest of their lives.

He glanced up at the nearly dark sky, waiting, knowing, it would not be long now.  Not long until he started to feel the moons affects.  His pain was only increased, knowing that tomorrow he would be without her.  He would have to suffer the after affects on his own.  He would not have her there, his Tonks, the only potion that would ease the discomfort of all his scars.


End file.
